Why do friends ditch me

Maybe you become clingy and needy in your friendships — or at the other extreme, you might pull away completely. If you faced a lot of loneliness growing up, you might not fear being alone as such but the risk of losing someone again is simply too much to bear.

So perhaps you avoid friendships altogether. You might also be subconsciously choosing friends that reinforce this belief i. By doing this, you confirm your deepest conviction — that no one ever sticks around for the long haul.

You might struggle connecting in social situations because you believe that you are fundamentally separate to other people. Because of this, as a child, you will have naturally struggled to form the same level of depth in your friendships.

Maybe you over-identify with this image of yourself and make a conscious effort to play up your differences. Or perhaps you accept your fate and withdraw into your own private world. Whatever the case, you subconsciously separate yourself from other people which can leave you feeling isolated and alone. The important thing here is to realise that you are not weird or different. You simply have this conception of yourself because of the experiences you had growing up.

When you work to identify where this stems from you will no longer feel this sense of isolation. Not everyone is meant to stay in our lives forever. Some friendships naturally grow apart. As the saying goes, friends come into your life either for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Because they illuminated this pattern. Once you identify the pattern, you have the power to heal it and stop the once and for all.

The best relationship we will ever have is the one we have with ourselves. Maybe you've been best friends since you were kids, so they say they're really used to your old pronouns and name. But if they use your identity to diminish or belittle you, or make zero effort to understand you, they are definitely not a person you need in your life. Sure, " no one can make you feel inferior without your consent ," but also It's one thing if they got a promotion and you're so happy for them but it reminds you that you're not quite where you want to be yet.

It's completely another situation when your pal celebrates themself by putting you down, constantly implying or even directly saying that they're the smartest and most successful person in the room. Sure enough, it can be painful, but it's alright to shrug your shoulders and say, "We had a beautiful connection once, and I'm grateful for it: but now we're just in really different places. It doesn't make you a bad person — it's just about bringing your full self to the table each day, and sometimes our full selves just don't match with old friends anymore.

Sure, you might text them or see them often enough, but they only seem to be fully present with you when they need something. Whether it's venting about the ex they saw over the weekend, you always seem to be there for them, while they're always be busy when you need help processing a work crisis of your own.

You deserve more reciprocity than that. If you have that buddy who guilt trips you for asserting your boundaries or communicating your needs, these symptoms of a bad friendship are likely to pop up everywhere.

If "guilt trip" isn't on your list of dream destinations, saying goodbye is more than acceptable. You want to be able to tell your best friend about that fight you and your partner had, including the parts where you kind of messed up.

You certainly expect those conversations to remain private, because they promised you it would. But when you hear from the cousin of a friend of your bestie's roommate that you're being a total jerk in your relationship, you'll definitely be reevaluating what to share with them in the future if you two have a future at all. When you're having an anxiety attack in the club and your so-called friend tells you to suck it up because you're ruining everyone's night, it's definitely time to go.

This article was originally published on Sep. By Jay Polish. Updated: April 6, Originally Published: Sep. The Friend Who Gaslights You If your compadre constantly implies that everything's your fault in a friendship, it might be time to call gaslighting what it is and bounce. Listen to how supportive they are. Try talking with them as a group or individually about a subject that is important to you.

Watch their faces to see if they give you the normal signs of listening, such as nodding or making small comments. See if they ask you any questions or express any concern. Be careful if they only call with requests. And, consider whether or not they are thankful when you do step in.

Method 2. Look for patterns. All friendships go through good and bad periods. If you feel constantly depressed or your friends are always negative, then you may be headed toward a separation. Pay attention to their schedules. For example, you may notice that they are never available when you want to make plans, but they are suddenly available on days when their other friends are busy. To be fair, if they are in a new relationship or starting a job, they might be working out how to manage time.

Watch if they always leave early. Instead of spending time lingering at a restaurant or out at a club, your friends now seem to head out as soon as possible.

Another sign is if they consistently arrive late and leave together early. This could mean that they have other plans elsewhere. Pay attention to any new friends. Try your best not to be jealous. Instead, listen to what your friends are saying. Are they describing these newcomers as your replacement or as a new friend for you?

Stop inviting everyone out for a week. See if any of your best friends invite you out or suggest any activities. Method 3. Cut off ties. You can cut down on your hang out time with them and minimize any text contact. If they are already avoiding you, then this is usually non-dramatic way of ending things. Confront them. If you feel wronged by your friends or are worried that there is some sort of miscommunication, you might want to talk with them as a group or one-on-one.

Ask them how they think friends should act. Try to come up with a specific plan to improve your friendship, such as always responding to texts within a day. Try to be understanding and avoid blaming your friends for everything or they may get defensive and the conversation could turn negative. Keep the focus of your statements on yourself.

For example, "I feel" and "I think. Take the chance to pursue new friendships. Try to find potential friends who have similar interests to you and who seem open to hanging out often.

Did you know you can get expert answers for this article? Unlock expert answers by supporting wikiHow. Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer. Not Helpful 4 Helpful Not Helpful 1 Helpful Not Helpful 2 Helpful Not Helpful 1 Helpful 7. I feel like my friends hate me, and I don't want to hang out with them anymore.